Note: a stupid person has NOTHING to do with "book smart", has to do with respect, common sense, listening, and (maybe more important than listening) hearing.
Definition: smart person - a) person who uses their brain, thinks, listens, hears, uses common sense. They treat others as they would like to be treated; b) person who knows there’s something to be learned from everyone, good & bad; c) person who enjoys learning something new everyday from anyone.
Note: a smart person will not belittle you, degrade you, talk down to you or treat you like a child. They will treat you with respect, they will not force their views onto you. If they disagree with you they will not tell you how to think, they will discuss it rationally, not have a heated discussion, listen to and respect your ideas, even understand your point of view, which may change their view, maybe not. Any discussion will be intelligent and respectful always.
I do not discuss politics or religion with most people. Too many tempers flare, too many people think their way is the only way, or they are trying to save you; think the middle ages and the Crusades? We are all human beings sharing the same planet, continent, country…town. We should all treat each other and our individual ideas and beliefs with courtesy, smiles, and manners common sense, duh?
If you encounter a stupid person who degrades, belittles and/or treats you like a piece of shit, concentrate on that issue and that issue alone, NOT what they told you was wrong. No matter what “issue” instigated them into mistreating you, they are looking for something to supplement their superiority complex, do not help them “get taller”. Be proud by giving yourself the satisfaction that you took the high road, treated them with respect, and did the right thing. These people do not respect themselves. If they did, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.
I believe I am too nice. Been thinking a lot lately that I should try to be more of a bitch, maybe that is why this week happened, to show me I am doing the right thing? I respect people, give them half a brain to start off with; may need to downgrade to one third after this week. When people push me too far, such as a sales person not understanding after FOUR TIMES no I do not want to buy anything, no I do not need to buy anything, no meant NO the first time I said it, THEN they experience my wraith, tactful but... I’ve been told after story number one below, I am not a person to be messed with… OK.
When I first finished college I worked at a major company as a computer programmer/analyst/technical specialist/network supervisor and I ran the email system. During a service call, a male engineering technician told a stupid joke which made me turn my eyes, give him my “what the fuck” are you serious look, and see all the other engineers leer at this technician; Engineering had 100% male employees in it. Wish I could remember his first name. Let’s call him Dave for the story.
The more I thought about this, the more it bothered me. I knew if I went to my VP Victor and told him about Dave’s “joke”, Victor would rip out Dave’s eye socket (both of them) and probably give him a free sex change operation. I dealt with the Engineering VP Joe on a regular basis, so I decided to speak to Joe directly. I kept it very professional, adult... (remember I am a kid!)
I called Joe and asked if I could stop by to talk about something privately. Joe apologized, thanked me for coming to him (I didn’t tell him about the Victor part) and told me he would take care of the situation. Later that day “joke” teller Dave, stopped by my desk to apologize. Dave sounded very genuine, polite, and respectful; I accepted his apology. Then Dave proceeded to explain to me why I should have liked the joke… THAT is an example of a stupid person.
I went back to Joe, told him Dave gave me a heart felt apology, Joe smiled. Then I told Joe that Dave then proceeded to tell me why I should have gotten and/or enjoyed the joke, smile disappeared, he started to turn pale.
One more story when I was at same company, same job… My room was in the basement of my parent’s house and it was my birthday. Walking down to my room I had a fresh cup of hot tea in one hand and the phone in the other talking to a friend, wishing me a happy birthday. The stupid carpet pieces my dad put onto the steps, second to last step came loose when I stepped on it, tea and phone went flying. Because of my height, my butt bounced down at least half the staircase, bouncing on each step, my tea spilled all over everything! The phone and mug made it to the basement floor shortly followed by me. VERY PAINFUL!!!
I was considered an executive (first job out of college!!!) hence I was required to wear a suit everyday. I was in so much pain, I wore very appropriate looking black leggings, blouse, black jacket and comfortable, flat, black leather booties; I looked very professional and I could walk around for the most part. As soon as I got to the office, I told my supervisor and Victor what had happened and they both told me to do what I had to do to take care of myself, heal and feel better. As long as my bosses are happy, that is all that matters. So glad they understood but I knew they would (smart people).
Later that day leaving the ladies room one of the managers, Joann, who was part of our group, caught a glimpse of me. Joann called me over to where she was chatting with another co-worker. Joann: “why are you wearing *looks me up and down then with sarcasm* pants?”. I stopped, looked Joann straight in the eye, totally deadpan: “I fell down stairs last night”. Her mouth fell to the ground, she did not even ask if I was OK... I went back to my desk, and almost fell off my chair laughing. I enjoyed THAT too much BUT I did not treat her with any disrespect, she attempted to belittle and degrade me with her self appointed superiority, ready to throw the book at me, get me in trouble, and she ended up tripping herself up.
The lessons I have learned from dealing with stupid, disrespectful, self-righteous people. Just throw the facts right back at them respectfully, do not stoop to their level. If it is yesterday’s issue, deal with the disrespect only. You can never win but you can keep your dignity and your own self-respect and isn’t that what is most important, knowing YOU handled the situation correctly with dignity and respect?
Take care, peace, hugs, love Meryl (and hopefully no stupid people :)